Suicide is a topic a lot of people just don't want to discuss.
That being said, things can get really awkward really quickly when I talk about how I volunteer for To Write Love On Her Arms, which is all about suicide prevention. But it's stuff that needs to be said.
My freshman year, I moved to a new high school nearly thirty times the size of my middle school. Being shy, it was hard for me to make friends, so I was thrilled when I became with, let's call him "Ned". On the surface, he appeared random and silly and very charming, and that's the way he stayed for the first month or so. But as time went on, the darker side of him appeared. He started dating one of my other friends that I had made and things went quickly downhill. He became possessive and insecure, threatening suicide at every turn. I was helplessly caught in his web of control and even I became depressed, so that we had three depressed teenagers on our hands, with nowhere to turn. We each had our dark, dark moments and I know that it's only by the grace of God that we all made it out of that year alive.
After an explosive confrontation with "Ned", he moved in with his other parent, and we never saw him again. I have no idea if he is alive or dead, addicted or sober, self-harming or straight-edge. Often, my thoughts drift back to that year and I wonder how different it would have been if we had all gotten ourselves some help.
I discovered To Write Love On Her Arms to help "Ned", my friend and I, but I'm hoping that by supporting them, I can save others from suffering my fate.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
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